1. She better be dead. This is a horrible thing to wish upon someone, but admit it, you’ve thought it when someone didn’t text you back. There are only a handful of reasons that excuse you from being a shitty person, and all of them involve personal tragedy. Being dead is a pretty good reason to not shoot back an “lmao” text.
2. Don’t send a follow-up text … don’t send a follow-up text … don’t
send a follow-up text. This becomes a mantra. You don’t want to be that
person who just starts trying to stretch the conversation out by sending
sparse half-sentences every few hours until your chat history is just a
one-sided timestamp graveyard.
3. Maybe she didn’t get my text? This is almost as bad as thinking
follow-up texts are OK. Resending the same text is also a pretty bad
idea. You can do this to a person, like, once a year. That’s all you
get.
4. Is this a mind game? Maybe she wants to see how I’ll react. If this is a test, there is no right answer.
5. Screw this, I’m just going to do whatever. Guys typically have an
innate ability to just throw their phone into a corner of the room and
forget about it for a few hours. Honestly, if you’re playing hard to
get, 90 percent of their time is devoted to not thinking about the fact
that you didn’t text.
6. Oh, I have a text, maybe it’s from her. Whenever you’re hoping to
hear from someone, the alert on your phone is always because of a text
from Verizon saying your bill is ready to view online.
7. Maybe I did something wrong? At this point, it’s about eight hours
since he last heard from you. Now is when doubt starts to creep in.
8. WHAT DID I DO AM I A MONSTER? This won’t occur to a guy until right
when he’s trying to go to bed. Now is the time to analyze every word of
that last text and wonder if they fucked up.
9. Should I try calling? No. No one calls anymore unless it’s an
emergency, and even then, I’m pretty sure most people would Snapchat 911
if that was an option.
10. If she’s not responding, then neither am I. And now the relationship
falls into a very tenuous place. Maybe you were just busy and you hit
him up the next day, and everything is fine. Or it becomes a texting
cold war and you both let your soul mate slip away because you were too
proud.
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